What to Do If Your Parents Quarrel Often?

What to Do If Your Parents Quarrel Often?

We often find ourselves in serious and rather sad situations. Many of us are caught in between fights our parents are having. All of this can have a negative impact on your personality and make your life rather ugly. Sadhguru explains what to do in such situations. Read on to know a few wise and sane tips by him, to save your day.

Human relationships are a beautiful feeling, but these can turn ugly if you don’t know how to conduct them right. A relationship that is for love, care, affection, and longing, unfortunately turns our ugly and sour. These people might not be literally fighting for kingdoms, they generally fight for petty issues and little things. These fights for little things turn very ugly and spoil the relationship.

Sadhguru advises that if you experience these situations early or when you are a child, you must not get tangled up and instead try to learn; what you must never do in your relationships.

A Porcupine Situation

Whatever relationship be it, if the other one does something wrong, even unknowingly, you tend to turn into a porcupine. Sadhguru has particularly used this word because he had a close encounter with a porcupine. He recalls once he was trapped inside a cave with both his hands stuck. There was a porcupine who charged at Sadhguru and generated a lot of dust. Sadhguru couldn’t crawl back as both his hands were stuck. The charges however turned out to be just a mock charge.


Sadhguru feels these quarrels are similar to porcupine. They initially blister their horns and then mock charges. Gradually, they lose their control and start real poking. If somebody is making accusations against you, doing nasty things or saying ugly things to you; you need to avoid that and walk away gracefully from that situation. You must pretty much avoid all the nastiness that is happening around in the country, community or even families. If you rise above all this, you will surely become a successful person.

If someone is spewing venom against you, it is probably because they have nastiness within them. If you don’t have any nastiness within you, how will you spill out nastiness. Sadhguru advises that in such cases you must try to love that person back. They either need your love, attention, or distance. If loving them doesn’t work, try distancing themselves from you. It is best not to enter that spiral of nastiness, because there is no end to it. Sadhguru warns to not enter that nastiness as he has himself seen several really talented people getting into the endless abyss and losing themselves in the process.

While if you are pestered or disturbed by your parents fighting every other day, you must learn to grow beyond this. Every generation has parents. Sadhguru advises that life is giving you an early opportunity to grow beyond all these issues and in no time, you will find that you remain indifferent to these fights. He encourages to use these opportunities. It doesn’t matter what really comes towards you, you must make it a stepping stone.

Be a Smart Ass

Be a smart ass

Sadhguru recalls that once there was a little donkey who unfortunately fell into a dry well. It kept wailing so that somebody might help it out. The villagers and the donkey’s owner thought that it would be waste of efforts and time to rescue the donkey. They started to throw bucket full of mud into the well to close the well with donkey inside it. The donkey literally shook off the mud every time and stood above that. Continuing this, it shook off all the mud and started coming upwards. Eventually, he came out. The village folks and the owner were surprised at its brilliance. They considered it a smart ass now but when its owner came near, the donkey kicked him hard in the face and went away. Sadhguru encourages you to be a smart ass from now onwards.

Whatever life throws at you, just shake it off and stand atop. Every experience in life must make us better and richer. Don’t particularly look for happiness. Whatever be it, make it a basis of your growth, wellbeing, and maturity. Make everything a 100% for you, whatever comes towards you.

If lot of uncomfortable and saddening incidents happen around you when you are a child, you must make sure to become wiser than everybody else of your age. If ugly incidents happen with you or around you, you must learn to grow out of them and become wise. Most of the people choose to be hurt and wounded. You should not wear those incidents as a “badge”. Sadhguru feels that re-iterating “you know what happened to me?” will not help you in any way. Instead you must be aware of what you did to yourself and not what others did to you. “What have you done to yourself?” is a much important question. Sadhguru concludes that you should do best with yourself. Be a real smart ass.